Make room for both perspectives
Partners may arrive with different explanations of the problem or different hopes for therapy. A useful starting conversation gives each person room to describe what has been happening and what they would like to change.
You might want help discussing difficult subjects, recognizing recurring conflict, rebuilding connection, or navigating a transition. You do not need to agree on every issue before asking about support.
Choose care that fits the relationship
Couples work is not interchangeable with individual therapy. Ask the practice about a clinician’s experience with couples, their approach, and how the first appointment is organized.
You can review the team’s biographies before reaching out. Charles Harney’s current biography, for example, describes work with couples and training in the Gottman Method; availability and suitability still need to be confirmed with the practice.
Questions for the first conversation
Ask whether both partners should attend the first appointment, what information each person will be asked to provide, and how the clinician discusses goals. You can also ask how privacy, individual conversations, and shared sessions are handled.
If either partner has concerns about feeling safe during a joint conversation, discuss those concerns privately with the practice before arranging a couples appointment. Do not use a general website inquiry to send detailed accounts of sensitive events.
Clarify payment before scheduling
Do not assume that a benefit for individual therapy automatically applies to couples sessions. Ask the practice and your insurer about the specific service, clinician, and payment arrangements you are considering.
Our insurance and payment guide provides a starting checklist. If you are unsure whether the concerns involve the couple relationship or a wider family pattern, you can also ask about family therapy.
Take the next step together
Let the practice know you are interested in couples therapy and share general scheduling needs. The initial inquiry can stay brief while you ask how the next conversation will be arranged.
Ask about couples therapy
